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Normally I interview and write Through the Scary. But I believe Angela, a friend of mine, can speak for herself, and for many parents.

In Angela’s words:

My day began exceptionally. I attended my eldest daughter’s baby shower, a day created by time honored friends and one that I will add to my memory treasure box.

While watching Tina open her last baby gift, my cell phone rings, “Will you come and visit me“, she asks? Numb, I agree. I use my windshield wipers to see the building as the rain begins to fall. I soon find myself a hall, passing doors with large locks to a cold gray room displaying strange artwork. I wonder about the “artists” and what brought them here. I try to focus; I can‘t catch my breath.

She finally appears in the doorway, my daughter, the little girl that just a few years ago was swinging safely in our back yard. I almost don’t recognize her, my mind becomes flooded with questions and I begin to swell with emotion. How can a day begin with such joy and end, surrounded in so much pain? What am I to say? How did she end up here? Will she ever allow life to teach her? Taking another glance down the hall I ask myself “can anything good possibly come of this?

We hug, we sit, we walk, as she uses the sleeves on her shirt to wipe up her tears. I have so much to say, yet, find it easy to just listen, as the sound of her voice calms me. She begins to reveal things and I learn so much. The scenarios that brought her here, are so interesting, so profound, that I wonder how on earth, she is walking and talking.

Then it happens…so instant and unexpected, my sorrow and fear miraculously turn to acceptance and I am overcome with gratitude. Gratitude that we are not planning a funeral, gratitude that her body remains whole, gratitude she is safe, at least for today, grateful that we can feel some peace in a place that looks and sounds so hopeless and, of course, grateful that there is a plan for “All” who fall short, and a reassurance that someone with a view and perspective greater than my own… is in charge.

I walk outside and see that the sun is shining.

Let’s help each other Through the Scary. Please share your successes. Contact me at

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